You're worse than Richard & Judy!

With the mass Premiership armchair orientated modern 'footie' world how galling must it be when your team only makes the news because your average crowd is more than the viewing figures for Richard & Judy & their bookclub on some obscure digital channel called Watch, which is ironic as nobody is actually watching it!

Apparently the viewing figures are a mere blip of 5,000. With Northampton Town, nicknamed the Cobblers, even getting more than them! Which sadly isn't even totally true, as although more of Northampton Town had more than five thousand at their last home match-5,025 to be exact-against Swindon Town, they have had ten home gates with less than the Richard & Judy five thousand through the turnstiles.

So you really can sing "You're worse than Richard & Judy!" to the Cobblers! Which doesn't prove anything apart from the fact that tabloid journalism is a load of old cobblers, as they try to make a news story out of Richard & Judy getting so few punters tuning in. When in actual fact it's not a shock at all. Let's face it what the fuck is the Watch TV channel & who actually cares?
And more pertinantly why does it exist? How can they make money? Richard & Judy clearly couldn't care less if anybody tunes in, they're only doing it for the benefit of their wallet. Maybe a bit harsh, but while I don't know their personal bank balances they certainly don't need to 'prostitute' themselves out to obscure digital channels to put food on their dinner tables. Though you can't blame them mind, as they're a bit high profile to try that nipping past the tills trick again I suppose!

The only reason people have digital telly is for access to the pay to watch sports channels and the films. There is freeview type channels now, and with the price of a digibox thingymajig being around fifty quid or so, probably much less, you do get access to the BBC3 & BBC4 type stuff, as well as the Channel Four & Five ones that seem to show repeats of sme, admittedly, half decent American shows. You'll have worked out by now I haven't really got a scooby what all this digital lark is all about. Which shouldn't surprise you.

I've got an ordinary telly, & wasn't planning to get a digital box until forced to, whenever the analogue is switched off in the London area, prior to the whole country going 'modern' by 2012. My telly has five channels. More than enough usually to find something to watch. And if not, when I'm not on my laptop like I am now blogging, I have several hundred unwatched videos & DVDsfor those 'rainy days' when there's crap on all five terrestrial channels. Or as I prefer to call them-'normal television'.

I do actually, believe it or not, possess a digital box receiver for my telly. A mate of mine gave me his old one just before Christmas. And I'm sure there is some decent obscure stuff out there. Documentaries maybe. Crime dramas, & comedy. But when would I have the chance to watch them? Very rarely. So the box, or whatever it is as I haven't even looked at it, still sits in the carrier bag he gave it to me in.

So apologies to you Richard & Judy, it's down to lazy bastards like me that nobody's watching you, not because we can't be bothered, but because we can't be bothered to set up our pikeyed digital receivers!*

* I lied. Give me Paul O'Grady, followed by The Simpsons, for my 'teatime' viewing on a Wednesday when I'm not working anyday! ;-)